Friday, January 8, 2010

Facebook Bra Color

So there's this thing going around the land of FaceBook where women are to put the color of their bra as their status update. That's it, just the color. It apparently started out as a Breast Cancer Awareness thing. As most of those chain type games do, it evolved into something different; a sexy sort of game to drive men crazy. That was even one of the updates I saw: "Forward this on to girls only and lets drive the guys crazy!" And then today it morphed into a whole new game stating: Our bra colors worked so well, now put a status update depicting your hair style:
Give it to me straight
On top
Wild and messy

Now, I'm not mad at anyone who included me in this tag nor am I offended at all the colors of bras being thrown around the world wide web. However, since I'm pretty sure %99 of my readers are women (hi dad) please keep this in mind --

Do you really want other men picturing you in your red bra? Because they did.

See, there's another thing -- Maybe it was different for you, but I saw oodles of ladies posting their bra colors and not ONE of them was white. Seriously, not one. I did, however, see more than one red, pink, black, blue, lace, light blue and green. So either that's a huge coincidence or everyone wanted the image of themselves to be far prettier (or sexier) than just a plain old white bra. Which tells me that YES everyone really was mindful of that fact that others would be thinking of them in their bra.

What was the last thing they were thinking when they saw the word BLUE on a facebook status? "Hmmmm, what can I do help find a cure for breast cancer!?"


It seems that the generator of this "game" could have been more honest and said, instead, "Hey, put the color of your bra in your status update, don't tell any guys, and we'll see how long it takes for them to figure it out!" Leave breast cancer out of it.

Or, if it really and truley was intended to bring awareness (and maybe it was, like I said, these games morph), then to have said something like "Hey, put the word PINK in your status update, and for every time you see the word PINK today, go donate a dollar to the Susan G. Komen foundation." Or go give yourself an exam. Or call your mom. Or send flowers to someone you know who has it.



I know that part of bringing a grave and horrible thing to people's mind (such as breast cancer) to help find and fund a cure means getting the message out there. The walks and runs and ribbons and donation centers, etc. are means of doing that. And though I don't go donate my money every time I see a pink ribbon, I have, in fact, donated SOME money and I have run in the Race for the Cure. I haven't pictured women in their colorful bras during this time except maybe when I share grievances with women who will have had a mastectomy and need support.

I don't have breast cancer. Neither does my mom or either of my sisters. I have, though, had skin cancer and am a survivor due to early detection! Thank you, God.


There is a special woman in my life who died of breast cancer in 1994. She was my mom's best friend. My whole family is friends with her husband on facebook and though I don't want to put words in his mouth, I just can't help but think he doesn't feel supported or think that his wife's death has been brought to a better light by having scores of women brag about their cute bras.



Some might argue that I'm being too prissy or don't know how to have fun and that I'm making a big deal over this. We all know that men are visual creatures. I promise you, there are many men on FB that pictured you in that red bra. Probably a married man.



One sweet gal commented that due to the rampant breast cancer all around her family and friends, that these types of things are "motivating". You know I love you, girl! I'm just curious, motivating you to do what? See the positive side? Laugh with those who weep? Awesome! Continue to be motivated! But for underwear games, I say, let's keep it to women only and help the guys keep their minds sober. Let's play a different breast cancer awareness game if guys are included. And let's make sure if it's in the name of 'awareness' that it truly is to become more aware of how to help in anyway shape or form.


Since this post is less about breast cancer and more about modesty, here is a verse I like:

"Proverbs 11:22 As a jewel of gold in a swines' snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. "



But since I am sensitive about the subject of cancer, here's a great stat I found from the American Cancer Society website, and a reminder to all you ladies, give yourself an exam (and have those mysterious moles checked out while you're at it):


The chance of a woman having invasive breast cancer some time during her life is a little less 1 in 8. The chance of dying from breast cancer is about 1 in 35. Breast cancer death rates have been going down. This is probably the result of finding the cancer earlier and better treatment. Right now there are more than 2½ million breast cancer survivors in the United States.

41 comments:

Kismet said...

I can't begin to tell you how whole heartedly I agree with this post!

Here is my experience with the FB bra thing, fully half of my contacts who responded to the bra deal said 'Nothing!" or 'None!".

Two men responded with colors (and yes, they were aware of what the intent was).

One friend and one daughter publicly objected to the tone of the game.

Thanks for your input and being brave enough to say it out loud.

Miss you, Candy.

~K!

Jessica said...

I 100% agree with you! Well said. :)

Leah said...

Well said Julie!!!!!!

Sarah said...

This is great and is was along the same lines of what I was thinking. A good friend of mine wrote "is rather amused at how quickly modesty has gone out the door for the sake of a "good cause." I'm not judging...as I'm guilty myself...but after thinking about it realizing that sometimes common sense and conviction can be blurred when we think we're doing something good. :/"

I hadn't yet posted any color and after reading her status I didn't. I want to help the men out there to stay pure and true to their wives, girlfriends or future wives or just for themselves for integrity sake.

Thank you Julie!
~Sarah Boek

The Everett Family said...

I saw it and didn't post anything.
There are other cancers such as ovarian cancer, from which I lost my grandma, that are much harder to detect, and have almost zero recovery rates. Yet, you don't hear much about it.

On another note, there are a few cancers particular to the male gender. I HIGHLY doubt there will ever be a day when they get a facebook status.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed your perspective on this. Cancer (leukemia in my family) is not to be taken lightly.

I would also hope that whether or not women played this game, maybe one actually considered her breasts and performed an exam. If that was the case, and maybe a lump (benign or cancerous) was found, then something good came out of this.

Just a thought, God works all things for good to those that love him.
Victoria Ingebretsen

Tiffany said...

I see both sides.

I felt very uncomfortable with how it seemed to evolve into alot of flirty little colors people posted obviously for the purpose of sounding cute. I did see those and I did see pretty basic black, white, beige, and pink.

I also did not feel it was the intent as I received a message earlier in the day which explained the cancer awareness purpose and some breast cancer facts. I am extremely modest even by modest people's standards. Many of my very conservative friends, missionaries, pastor's wives, etc. posted and I know they are quite modest and discerning, and were thinking of it as a funny game to bring attention to something serious. After all, if we had breast cancer we would not be wearing bras. So I don't want to judge anyone else's motives.

I have known several people who have had breast cancer. Some are survivors and some have lost their fight.

I have other loved ones who have had other types of cancer, including my husband and my aunt.I have my own conclusions about whether or not we will ever "find" a cure and why or why not -- but prevention is the best medicine.

One of my dear friends found a huge lump in her breast the day before this came up. It was definitely on my heart.

I posted PINK as my color. I won't tell you what my real colors are.

The Corrigan Five said...

Julie, I think you are a very wise woman, and your three girls are so blessed they have you guiding them. People do all sorts of silly things, some serious maybe, some kind of harmless. I just wanted you to know I think you are doing a great job :) ~ Lisa

Donna said...

Julie, I want to take this opportunity to tell you "THANK-YOU". Not only for the marvelous and upright words you have shared, but for the boldness to speak and take a stand for righteousness sake, and for the awareness of your stand on the "Bra Color" issue. It is so easy to fall into these little traps and as this one, good things are too often misunderstood and twisted. Afterall, Satan's job is to constantly prowl about seeking whom he may devour. He tried to jump on this one and cause sexual thoughts, ideas and even strife amoung friends.
For me, I didn't understand what it was all about, and was even confused where you and even Sarah were on this "Bra Color" thing. Having little understanding of it, I said nothing.
Again, I exprss my appreciation to you for clearing things up. You're a respectful and highly respected woman of God. Keep up the great work.
Prayers,
Donna

Youthful One said...

Bravo.

I chose not to participate for a myriad of reasons, the immodesty being just one of them.

I highly recommend reading this other blogger's perspective:
http://toddlerplanet.wordpress.com/2010/01/08/in-the-name-of-awareness/

Blessed Mama of 4 said...

Definitely well said, and not prissy at all. I continue to enjoy and benefit from your discernment and wisdom. I am guilty of getting caught up in some of the social play, and it does affect us. This last week we heard a sermon about how what we believe affects who we are and what we believe to be true might only be true-ish... which is where Satan loves to play. Things that sound good and are close to being true, but are just slightly off enough that over a period of time we move so far from the real truth. You are a blessing, keeping me directed towards the person of Truth - thanks!

WhyMommy (Susan) said...

As the mom of boys (and the blogger mentioned above), I TOTALLY agree.

There's not a clear connection here -- while bras may be pretty, breast cancer itself is not a pretty thing.

Anonymous said...

Right on! Bless you for speaking out.
MomB

Christina said...

Very good, Julie! I came via Sarah B. and your comment on her FB comment. I'm another that thought the whole thing was ridiculous. You put it very well, thank you!

Anonymous said...

I did not whatsoever even entertain the thought of taking it this far. I think this blog post took it to a place where not a lot of people were even thinking or going. It may have even taken the true intent of it out and shed a negative light on it. Where people weren't even thinking of it in a sexual, impure way are now thinking it after reading this post.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

I agree with you 110%.

I've been very outspoken about and have been told that I'm over reacting...that it was a harmless meme or game.

But I asked my husband (who quickly figured out what the secret was) what he thought of each time he saw a color status posted...and it made me sick to hear his answer.

I think we're being STUPID if we think that men don't go there with their thoughts. It's not harmless and I for one don't want to be a temptation for some of my male FB friends. GOOD FOR YOU for speaking out.

I felt like the whole thing trivialized a very serious disease and objectified/degraded women.

Just my .02

Anonymous said...

I agree, Julie!! I was surprised by the whole thing, and thought it was a kinda bizarre way to raise awareness about breast cancer. Thanks for sharing your opinion...

Britta

Jenny said...

This is just want I was thinking about this "game". Seriously. We must be twins. I'm glad you did a post on it. I did not participate. I like the comment you got on your FB status about underwear color bringing cervical cancer awareness. It's the same thing...

Becky said...

You don't know me... I came through a blog roll on a friend's blog. I did not post a color on the whole FB thing. To start out with, I had no idea what it was. My guess was the color of your underwear with the intent of being flirty. I had 2 different friends email me what it was all about when I questioned it. The first said it was to "Drive the guys crazy" and the 2nd said it was to promote breast cancer awareness. I don't think it was doing much to promote awareness.

Tiffany said...

I think this bloggers awareness of "slacktivism" is well said. The color thing was so viral but -- now what?

http://www.sphere.com/article/bloggers-debate-usefulness-of-facebook-bra-status-update/19309689?icid=main|hp-laptop|dl1|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.sphere.com%2Farticle%2Fbloggers-debate-usefulness-of-facebook-bra-status-update%2F19309689

Kismet said...

I read that too, Tiffany. There is a great debate going on about this now.

Hoo boy.

~K!

Life in Fitzville said...

Amen.

My mom (and several aunts) and MIL are both breast cancer survivors. My SIL, unfortunately, was not a survivor, and now her husband is picking up the pieces with his 3 teenaged daughters.

I ignored the whole thing, as it really struck me the wrong way, but I give you so much credit for speaking up... thank you.

Anonymous said...

I asked my husband to look at the color postings. He didn't have a clue what it meant. His guess was that it was a personality thing. Not thinking it was for bra colors nor for breast cancer awareness. So, didn't really accomplish anything in our house. :)

East<3West said...

Julie,

One day when we're together I'll explain (if by then you’re still interested in hearing it) my rationalization as to the "motivating" comment I made in regards to the facebook/bra posts. As I stated on facebook, my Aunt is a survivor (like tens of thousands of other women) and she happened to see no harm in the "breast cancer awareness" posts; in fact--she made light of the fact that she no longer has to wear a bra (“one of the perks” as she sees it!!).....
As far as modesty goes, I think it's very safe to say that we share completely different values whether morally, spiritually, ethically, etc. Not that it’s a bad thing; difference of opinions is what this country is founded on. I will say however, with sheer and utter conviction, that when I posted my bra color (FIRE ENGINE RED) in response to the awareness posts, that the very absolute last thought that went through my head was that "men" may have visualizations! I think Ghandi puts it best, “Non-cooperation is a measure of discipline and sacrifice, and it demands respect for the opposite views.”

So for everyone who has posted their comments to this blog and thought that the facebook/bra color activity was demeaning, undignified, and shameful; there are other people who got a little rise out of it. And I praise my Aunt for having that kind of humor and wit, for I believe; her attitude and outlook has led her into remission.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for this post. Being a cancer patient, some of the jokes being made to this game put me in tears.
Brenda

Stephanie said...

Well said...thank you!

elizabeth embracing life said...

My thoughts exactly, only you wrote them out way better than I ever could have. Proudly I did not post my bra color. I think my husband likes that, that is just between us, but it was more a modest move than anything. Great post.

Anonymous said...

ok well I understand where your all coming from but the email I got on Facebook was wordered alone the lines of.......help us keep ppl remembering about breast cancer by posting your bra colour in your status, we are hoping this goes around the world time and time again so please forward this email to EVERYONE (male n female) in your frinds list. which i happliy did, i then posted my bra colour on my status that same day (blue) and no it wasnt so i could have everyone think i was wearing a sexy blue bra its the colour of one of my MANY sports bras.....i have now for the past week added my colour to my status and todays it is red oh and yep its another sports bra.....i have had WHITE on there 3 time since getting the email..my HUBBY has even been putting in a colour but his is he colour of his boxers......yes some ppl have taking it the wrong way but MOST have thought well done ladies and gents...my grandmother and her 2 sisters all passed away from Breast cancer so I do understand the meaning of it and the reason i put my colour up is for them......I think that maybe you guys didnt get the email that said to EVERONE....if not then maybe u should think about who sent it to you and have your say to them and not to EVERYONE in the world coz i didnt do it for any other reason the to keep breats cancer in EVERYONES minds.....

Anonymous said...

Anonymous--thank you for sharing your opinion on this blog for this black & white, night & day issue....I too participated for the same reasons you did...

Anonymous said...

I agree w/Anon.

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christa jean said...

You brave girl you!

What disturbs me most is that some choose to defend their opinion/position in such a blunt manner here on YOUR blog. In no way were you implying that you are MORE modest than others.

The fact is, that no matter how good or innocent the intent was when one posted her bra color, somewhere a man was still thinking or her bra.

I bet if we took a poll on facebook asking men near and far whether the statuses caused them to think of breast cancer or breasts, we may be surprised.

It seems to me that it's time for a little comment moderation, hmmm?! ;-D

Anonymous said...

CJ
the fact that some men may have been picturing these ladies in their bra is not anybody's fault but the man who's entertaining himself by visualiziing. So I'm sorry if you think your husband, dad, uncle, friend, may have been guilty of picturing these woman-perhaps the wandering mind of the man should be questioned.

Anonymous said...

christa jean--
Welcome to blog life!!! This is the avenue people can SHARE their opinions -- often times in total disagreement with the comments made by the person posting. When a person posts, they run the risk of someone disagreeing and calling them out on their facts, viewpoints, etc...Really blogs are a more often a debate platform, not a PollyAnna journal-fest.

Further, this posting person specifically asked for feedback on the subject. FYI--it comes in many forms...which, again is the true intent of blogs.

Anonymous said...

Yes, a man can picture your bra weather it's posted on fb or you are wearing a Laura Ingalls dress everyday. Where is the man's responsibility??????????

Cathy said...

EXACTLY why I didn't participate in that "game". Yes, men have a responsibility to take captive their thoughts, but WE have the responsibility to not wave it in their face.

There are dozens of other ways to raise awareness.

Well said!

East<3West said...

ha, WE have the responsibility not to wave our bra colors in "their" face! I can assure you, not anyone of my friends (including me) thought of men picturing us in our bras! In fact, my friends that did this lost their mothers when they were 18 because of the illness. I can't believe I'm still following this post (and I can assure you, I'm done after this comment). But, I'm sick of reading all these posts as shaming on the woman as thinking they are the devil for doing this. I realize that the followers of this blog are super religous and can see how something like this can be misconstrued into something that is SOOOOOOOOOOOO obscene....But honestly, give me a break. I'm pretty positive my friends saw this as pretty harmless and now I'm starting to see insecurities amongst these comments more than anything!

Anonymous said...

East<3West said... CLAP CLAP CLAP well said.....
(Anonymous said... January 11, 2010 1:33 PM):like i said in my last post I did it for may family.....But im now bugged that there are some ladys on her trying to make shame of what we did because of the MEN they must know that only thought about the bra/boobs and not the reason......im mean REALY we all have our reasons for DOING it or NOT doing......so to the ladys that are thinking its wrong....im wearing a HOT PINK BAR today and yes once again its a sports bra so now tell me what are the MEN thinking that are reading post....oh and my hubby said his BOXERS are BLUE....are u ladys now think about my hubby in his boxers.....each to our own i say......

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acceptancewithjoy said...

Okay, in case you have a history and look at how people get to your blog... I lost my blogline feeds several weeks ago. I was thinning out the number of blogs I was subscribed to because I just can't keep up... and I accidentally erased my entire bloglines.

I rebuilt my subscription on Google, but I couldn't remember your blog address. I thought you were lost forever. But, a current facebook thing about where you like to keep your purse, "I like it on...) reminded me of this post. So, I googled Haiti+adoption+facebook bra color.
Just in case you are wondering why anyone in their right mind would google such a thing.

Oh, I have been blogging less too. Our family lived through a crisis, a runaway, a jailed daughter, a court ordered return home and now an adult foster home.

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