Thursday, April 30, 2009

Mixed Emotions ~ Baby Craze

Let's just get it out of the way right here right now: I'm not pregnant. (hi mom!)

There's been a lot of pregnancy announcements via phone and Facebook lately, however.

My friend Sarah even called to announce she's having twins! Yeah, I know, that's neat. But guess what? She already has four kids!

[getting out abacus]

This will mean she'll have six children.
Did you hear me?

I don't think you did. Tiff, you heard me. JulieC, you did, too.
She'll be having her SIXTH child.
Holy guacamole! Congratulations, lady.

I'm a twin. I'm the one on your left in the light green. That's my womb-mate on your right. Hi Jen!

There’s a joke that the girls drinking the water at this church are all getting pregnant.

A friend of mine came over today. I've known this gorgeous lady since the 4th grade. She says it was 3rd grade, but it was really 4th.
I think. Anyway, she brought her 7 month old baby and we talked babies and motherhood the whole time.

(Amber and Clay)

I received another announcement last week of a "surprise" pregnancy. Unplanned. Unprepared.

So I've been in baby land the past couple of days. Contemplatively speaking.

I love words but right now I am stumped. A gold star goes to the person who can find the word that best describes my feelings.
Beware...they're all over the place.

Happy to have been pregnant in my life
Happy to have had a biological child
Happy to have adopted children into my home

Sad to have needed a cesarean and never had the urge to push
Sad to have only raised one infant (my youngest came to me when she had just turned 4)
Sad to have not had the experience of raising a boy

Happy to have breastfed a child for 7 months
Happy to have been able to be a stay-at-home mom
Happy that I did not suffer from post-partum depression (for more than a few weeks)

Sad to have said good bye to the fun days of raising a single child
Sad to have spent a gazillion dollars on infertility tests only to have the docs shrug
Sad that it took another gazillion dollars and 2.5 years to adopt

Happy that I only had to lose baby fat one time
Happy that my only child is no longer only and has sisters forever
Happy that if I get pregnant, or am called to adopt another child, or have no more children added to my home, that I will be fully satisfied and content with life.

Happy that I follow God and trust His plan for my life
Happy that the children in my home are undoubtedly the greatest on the planet
Happy that I'm light years away from 35 and have three kids 7 and under

Happy that I've been pregnant once
Sad that I've only been pregnant once
Sad that I've only been pregnant once
Sad that I've only been pregnant once

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Time with Him

Everyday when I wake up, I start with a quick prayer to God thanking Him for the day.

It's just a quick shout-out to my Creator every morning.

Then I go to the bathroom.

Then all throughout the day I talk to God and sing praises to Him and generally lift up most things in my life to Him.

But what I don't do is spend a generous amount of time with God reading my Bible and devoting actual time to Him and with Him. I do this often, but not each and every day.

I'm not legalistic so I don't believe that I HAVE to have devotions or that I'm not a Christian if I forget to read my Bible.

But what I DO believe, is that spending time with God is how I draw close to Him.

James 4:8 "Draw close to God and He will draw close to you."

And when He draws close to me, I can better hear His voice.

And when I can better hear His voice, I can better understand His will for my life.

And when I can better understand His will for my life, it's easier for me to stay on the path He's laid out for me.

And when I stay on the path He's laid out for me, I will be blessed with happiness, protection, love and wisdom.

And when I am blessed with happiness, protection, love and wisdom, I can be a better wife, mother and friend.

When when I am a better wife, mother and friend, I can be a more respectable witness of Jesus Christ to those who don't know Him.

At church a couple weeks ago, the pastor said "One of the reasons people feel like God is so far away, is because they are not spending time with Him, reading their Bibles."

Then I went to a women's event last weekend and the pastor's wife said "When you pray, it's a good idea to have your Bible open. This allows God to speak directly into your life through His Word."

Now, I know that God is not limited in any way. If He wants to talk to me, He has infinite measures He could use. And, knowing God, they're probably all beautiful, soft, gentle and loving ways. Right, Meredeth? And I also know that God gives me my own freedom and my own will to do whatever I want. But guess what I want? I want to do what God has intended for me!

I can guarantee that the King of Kings has a better life planned for me than I could ever even come up with on my own.

Hebrews 12:2 says "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith."

When I fix my eyes on Jesus, I'm allowing Him to be the author of my life.

Fixing my eyes on Jesus means to spend good, quality time with Him. In his Word.

Psalm 119:105 says "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path."

Who can't see a path better in this dark world than when there's a light on it!?

Do you read your Bible every day? I'd love to hear your story...

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

My Harvest

I did not plant you, true.
But when the season is done,
When the alternative prayers for sun
and for rain are counted,
When the pain of weeding
And the pride of watching are through,
Then I will hold you high,
A shining sheaf above the thousand seeds grown wild.
Not my planting,
But, by heaven,
My harvest–
My child.

Carol Lynn Pearson

Monday, April 13, 2009

First Easter

The tomb is empty...

...and my heart is full.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Kismet's Blog

I'd like to direct your attention to a blog I read.
Some of you may already read her.

It's short so I encourage you to take the 25 seconds and pop over there.

It's one of those kid-conversations that leave you pondering the complexities of the child's mind.
The understanding they have.
The wonderment of their belief.
The beauty of their innocence.

Then there's a question at the end that I know Kismet would love to hear the varying responses. It will make you think.

We're currently in the middle of the 3 days before Christ is raised from the dead. Thinking about Heaven, His home and our future home, is only appropriate as we're supposed to get excited and prepared for our final destination.

These pictures will make sense after you read her blog. :)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

What should I blog about?

Have you ever been folding laundry and thinking of a blog post but then think things like
-That's too boring
-That's too personal
-That's too uninteresting
-That will take too much time to compile the photos
-That will take too much time to compile my thoughts
-That's copying someone else's blog
That's where I am right now.
I've got a few things floating around in my head but for the life of me can't figure out a great post for you all to feast your eyes on.
I made a list a while ago of things I'd be blogging about in the upcoming months...but they're all intense and will require lots of thought and fine writing.
Beats posts like this, right!?
Will get to it. I'm enjoying reading YOUR blogs, though. Keep writing!
Happy Holy Week.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Another FIRST - sort of.

My six year old Yolanta lost her first tooth!
Well, since she's been home, that is.
Hip Hip Hooray!

This is actually her 5th lost tooth, but the first one that we got to experience with her so it was pretty fun and special for us all!

My heart was saddened when I saw her come in to the orphanage at 4 years old and then pictures started coming in over the next couple of years and her teeth were falling out.
Milestones going by without me.

Here is a picture I received from the orphanage one day with her cute little front tooth missing.

I love this crazy picture because she's obviously so proud of that missing tooth and she's doing everything in her smiling ability to show it off!

And here's another picture I received a while later with her two top teeth missing. Wish her eyes were open, but there's no denying she's awfully gummy.

Here she is holding up her tooth and smiling in such a way to show it's her upper left tooth (next to her big tooth). So cute and so proud.

Yes, the tooth fairy comes to our house which was totally new and fun for Yolanta. She'd never heard of the Tooth Fairy!

Under her pillow, well actually sitting NEXT to her pillow, was a little stuffed animal and a box of bulbs to plant in the back yard.

It will be fun to see those purple flowers come up and be reminded of that fun day when she lost her tooth. Even though it's not, it feels like its the first tooth she's ever lost because it's the first one I've saved.

I love you, baby! Stop growing up. I've already missed so much of your life and the rest is going by too quickly! But okay. You can grow up. I'll let you. :)

Here's just a super cute picture of Amy and Yolanta enjoying math homework and a pretty red ribbon and lots of sisterly love.