It's been a week and a half since I've last blogged.
Remember when I used to blog allllll the time!?
I used to write blogs in my head and MAKE myself wait at least a day to post them.
You know why I haven't been blogging much?
Because I am no longer the sole proprietor of my body.
Others own parts of me now. They're called my children.
Going from 1 child for 6 years to 3 children overnight did a number on my 'alone time'.
And by that I mean: eradicated it.
No, going to the bathroom doesn't count because EVEN THEN I have someones brown eyes staring back at me.
Am I complaining?
Am I slightly claustrophobic now?
I don't have that many pictures of me with my girls because I tend to be the one TAKING the pictures (hint hint, husband).
It’s almost always at least Katie, but more often than not I've usually got at least 2 on me at all times.
While watching the VP debate tonight I had Yolanta in my lap, Amy on one side of me, and Katie on the other side of me. Katie couldn't seem to get any closer than smashed up against me and asked me if she could sit on top of my head.
ON TOP OF MY HEAD.
I said no.
While reading stories to my girls, they will caress my arms or feet or whatever part of my skin then can touch. Sometimes right down the front of my shirt. Yeah. Are you starting to get the idea here?
While getting dressed, I have many little hands and fingers threading my belt through the loops for me. Fastening my bra. Helping me put my foot in my shoe! I’m not kidding.
I can hear Mrs. Hannigan from Annie singing “Little girls, little girls, everywhere I turn I can see them…"
My Haitian babies are probably starved for loving physical contact so I lavish them with it. And Amy is probably feeling a little territorial so she makes sure to lay claim to some part of my body often.
(Side note: Yolanta is more reserved about showing physical affection in public. Sometimes I wonder if it’s an embarrassment thing or a secret message she might be trying to send me. I dunno.)
It's just another one of those adjustment things that I couldn't really and truly prepare for until I was all of a sudden living it. And here I am, all of a sudden, living the realization that my body is no longer my own. At least not during the hours of 8am-9pm.
I'm sure it won't always be like this. In fact, I KNOW it won't always be like this. They'll start to feel more secure in our love and not be so needful of my touch.
At which point I'm sure I will probably bawl.